Letter from the Editor It has now been a full year since our debut, and in that time we’ve published close to 200 works of fiction, poetry, essays, reviews and letters. [applause] As 2002 winds down and we get geared up for an even more spectacular 2003, the December issue of taint is going to start a new yearly tradition. And no, I’m not talking about mistletoe smoking. [laughter] Faithful readers, it is my pleasure to present to you the 2002 Taint Awards for Excellence in taint Magazine—[applause]—or “taintys” as they’ve come to be known. [uncomfortable but polite laughter] Yes, we’ve had a lot of talented contributors this year, and it’s high time we give them a little something, because God knows they didn’t see dime one from us. [nervous laughter] We thought giving them an award that they could legitimately add to their C.V. was the least that we could—and most that we would—do. [crickets] So whether you’re new to taint, or you’ve been with us all year, here’s the cream of the 2002 crop: FICTION 2002 Tainty for Supreme Fiction
News Of The Day—Jane Hammons 2002 Gertrude Stein Award for Most Experimental Experimental Fiction
Concerning The Work—David McLendon 2002 Tainty for the Shortest Work of Short Fiction
Nuclear Pink—Karl Birmelin 2002 Tainty for the Best Work of Fiction by a Minor
Catfish—Shatera Davenport 2002 Tainty for Best One-Act Play Not Written by Samuel Beckett
Lady and Gentleman, in the Rain—Will Eno 2002 Steve Coy Award for My Favorite Piece of Fiction by a Friend of Mine
The Blasphemer Of Spices—Leigh Newman 2002 The Standing Eight Count Award for Best Excerpt from a Previously Published Work by a Writer Who Can Kick Your Ass
Provisionally, Steve—Sam Lipsyte 2002 Jim Jones Award for a Work of Fiction by an Author Who Nobody’s Heard of but Nevertheless Has Attained a Kind of Cult Status Despite the Fact that His Editors and His Groupies Consistently Misspell His Name
The Singing Fish—Peter “Marcus” Markus POETRY 2002 Tainty for Supreme Poetry
Tavern Window—Jason Lee Brown 2002 Don Hensley Prize for Poetry that’s Even Better when Spoken Aloud
The Dog Ran.—M. Boyd 2002 Tainty for the Best Slightly-Erotic Poem
Empty Bed—Christine Hamm 2002 Benny Binion Grand Prize for Poetry and Trick-Shooting
The Ed and Mary Poems—Wesley Ceeley 2002 Tainty for Best Canadian Poem
House-Sitting—Catherine Moran 2002 Tainty for Best Poem with a One-Word Title which Can Be Either a Verb or a Noun
Flesh—John Rybicki COLUMNY 2002 Boswell and Johnson Award for Two Writers Talking
Where The Words Are—Sam Lipsyte with Michael Kimball 2002 Samuel Pepys Award for Best Work of Serialized Non-Fiction
I Can’t Hear You—Tita M. Chico 2002 Riddley Walker Award for the Work which Most Ignores Conventional Rules of Grammar and Punctuation
Words I Would Never Use in Fiction—Andy Devine 2002 Tainty for Most Disturbing but Brilliant Letter to the Editor
I Took A Shower—Wayne Kessler 2002 Glenway Wescott Award for an Essay Promoting the Work of a Dead and Almost Forgotten Author
Concerning Harold Brodkey—Marcus Gray Congratulations to all the winners, and those of you who didn’t win an award, well, you’re in good company. There’s always next year. In the meantime, ecumenical best holiday wishes to you all. And lay off the mistletoe. Humbug! mark cajigao Mark Cajigao is the Editor in Chief of taint. Holiday grog and yuletide cheer may be electronically transmitted to him via: | 
